What are we learning each day from our herd? What are our horses teaching us about ourselves and the way we relate to one another? How can our intimate relationships with horses and the herd influence our human relationships?
Follow our newest blog series, Lessons From the Horses, to learn alongside us.
Riding a horse is truly one of the most intimate experiences we can have and when seen as such can become instrumental in helping us humans to evolve our skills in intimacy and mutual respect and understanding.
Horseback Riding is of course a physical activity, it requires body coordination, core strength, and perceptive timing. Any experienced rider knows, however, that a traveling mind or heightened emotions can dramatically impact the course of a ride. Our partnership with these incredibly sensitive beings is a whole experience that is impacted by the most minute and nuanced elements of our physical, mental, emotional, (and we'd argue), spiritual parts of ourselves.
In my riding experience, the greatest moments occur when my horse and I are in deep connection, in meditative movement. Those moments where the lines between them and I blur and when I stop thinking that I am a separate being on top of a horse but rather a collaborative dance partner, breathing, moving, growing and attuning to my partner.
Horses can feel every minute detail down to the rider relaxing or tightening the smallest muscle. Their sensitivity is so dialed in that sometimes they may be able to notice even the smallest unintended movement from us. And because our mental and emotional states directly influence how our bodies relax, tighten, and hold tension and stress-- they are present with us through every thought, feeling, and movement. When we are riding from this kind of place, we are being seen, in the totality of our humanness.
Humans have these super powers too...
When we walk into a room, we all have the capacity to know and feel if our friends and partners are feeling low or if something exciting just happened. If we hug our children and their bodies are tight or injured, if we really tap in, we can feel it. The noise of our busy and over extended lives, some how turn down the sensitive feeling receptors and turn up the chatter of the mind. Tuning into the details and subtleties of our partnership on horseback reminds us of these intuitive super powers. From this listening place, we are truly assessing what the needs of the moment are so we can we set our own agenda's aside and really meet the needs of other's.
While this approach can result in some incredibly dreamy, intimate, and beautiful experiences, it's of course, not easy. Any kind of partnership, human and non, is influenced by the stories and remembrances of our past. True and healthy intimacy comes from a mutual commitment to work through pains and vulnerabilities that arise from unintended triggers. To listen, really listen, move slowly and intentionally, and build trust by actions. This is true for our horses as well.
Just like with humans that experience trauma and historical pain, horses bodies remember too.
Unfortunately, too often we see mainstream horseback riding as an act of domination and abuse of power.
In many environments, horses are seen simply as utilitarian machines intended for human use and manipulation. Instead of meeting them with patience, mutual respect, and balanced power between human and horse, we use fear and pain tactics to silence them as they become servants to our needs. We take away their voices and their consent to be "used" in specific ways. Our rescue horses come to us from environments such as this and because of that, it is even more important to approach them slowly, mindfully, and with a relaxed agenda rooted in consent and permission.
Just like humans that have experienced traumatic or abusive events, the protection from emotional triggers and scaring can show up in many unique ways. When building relationships in these scenarios, we have to move slowly, ask for permission and allow the person healing to dictate the depth of connection. Treating our healing horses with the same slow and consensual respect is a true training ground for building these skills.
Some of the horses from our sister rescue, Driftwood Horse Rescue & Sanctuary, like Taini for example, are survivors. Taini was starved, beaten, abused, abandoned and ridden as a form of domination. With slow and meticulous care and lots of love, she has transformed into a sassy confident, beautiful and integral member of our herd.
We aren't riding just yet as riding is still a trigger for her. While we can do many things on the ground, for a long time us even just leaning on her would trigger pin backed ears and a hard "no" from Taini. While she's not in an physical pain anymore, the emotional scars are deep and still very present. Lately, she has been letting me stand and put weigh in the saddle. Can that level of connection, depth, and "progress" be enough?
Every single time I am with Taini, I promise her that she will never be hurt by a human again and that if she trusts me, riding can be an incredibly beautiful experience. I promise her that I will always meet her with love, respect, and dignity. These of course are just words and intentions. True trust building with all beings (human and non) takes a lot of time, patience, and diligent commitment to showing each other that we mean what we say. Watch below for a sneak peek of my daily teachings from Taini.
Every single day our horses are teaching us how to be better humans.
Follow along as we continue to humble ourselves in the Lessons from the Horses.
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